Suffering from a sexless marriage?. You are not alone
After close to a decade of clinical experience in the field of andrology, I understand the suffering a sexless marriage can produce. Sexless marriages are marriages in which penetrative sexual intercourse has not occurred or does not occur frequently among the partners.
Interestingly, an estimated 5% of couples suffer from marriages that have inadequate sex.
Moreover, in some instances, the marriage might have progressed in a normal healthy fashion but later problems could have led to a sexless marriage. The thing is, although sexual intercourse is only a minor aspect of any fulfilling meaningful relationship, it is still very important. It is what completes a relationship. No arguments on that.
A sexless marriage can ultimately lead to a loss of physical intimacy between partners, thereby fragmenting the relationship. The thing is, you don’t get to live like a roommate with your loved ones!.
What are the common reasons for a sexless marriage?
A variety of reasons can lead to marriage without sex, some of them have been outlined below
A. Mismatched Libido or Sex Drives
Not all people would have the same degree of interest in sex. Some may require more number of sessions per week, while some others are okay with just about once per month. All said and done, mismatched sex drives lead to mismatched expectations and frustration
Stress can severely affect sexual health for both men & women. Stress from repeated relationship conflicts, work stress, finances, domestic issues can all lower your libido severely.
C. Erectile Dysfunction
A large proportion of men suffer from problems with erection and its sustenance. In the male is unable to sustain his erection, penetration is not possible. Moreover, men with erection problems frequently lose their self-confidence thus they avoid sexual intercourse.
D. Hypoactive Sexual desire disorder
Interestingly, in women, hypoactive sexual desire disorder is a genuine problem. Women with such problems have very little libido, fantasies, and desires. Women with this condition will not co-operate in the initiation of sexual intercourse. A variety of medical conditions can lead to hypoactive desire disorders.
Clinical depression can severely affect your sex life. It can negatively affect your mood, interest and general levels of energy. Getting the right treatment can work wonders in improving your overall sex life
F. Past Abuse
Some patients, more so women sadly suffer from a past history of sexual abuse. In these events, the unresolved emotional conflicts and pain can definitely contribute to avoiding sexual intercourse, this is because the sex itself can trigger painful memories that the patient wants to actively avoid.
Other conditions that can lead to a sexless marriage include
- Power struggles among the partners
- Pornography addiction
- Anger or resentment
Furthermore, lifestyle and personal factors like boredom, grief, financial stress, and aging can also lead to a sexless marriage.
How to overcome a sexless marriage?
The first thing to do is to never compare your relationship with other couple’s relationships. You must understand that your relationship is unique to you and you alone. There are no normal reference standards here. Moreover, it is important to be open in your communications with your partner. Simply blaming them and getting angry will not help with the relationship as such
Remember that these conditions are pretty complicated and require a lot of work to sort out!. What’s normal for one person can be abnormal for another. Plan and work diligently in your relationships. Take a vacation. Schedule your time with your spouse no matter how busy your are. Seek the help of a sexologist or sexual health expert.
Sexless marriages are treatable. Remember that!
I hope you enjoyed reading this short article. If you are suffering from a sexless marriage get in touch with us below
Dr. Shah’s Clinic for Male Infertility & Sexual Health
No 5, Hindi Prachar Saba Rd, Parthasarathi Puram, T. Nagar, Chennai, Tamil Nadu 600017
Ph – 9789843856