What to do if you cant ejaculate? Delayed ejaculation & its treatment explained

In this post, we are going to go through quickly about ‘what to do if you cant ejaculate’. More specifically, we will briefly look at delayed ejaculation and delayed ejaculation treatment. You can also watch the video below

The last thing any man or (his better half) wants to experience in their sex lives, is ‘the inability to cum’. Its frustating, unfulfilling and bloody irritating.

So, what to do if you cant ejaculate?

Lets first science the shit out of the topic. Now, delayed ejaculation (DE) is also called inhibited ejaculation. In this condition, men are unable to ejaculate after penetration of the vagina, in partnered sex.

The important point to note here is the ‘average ejaculatory latency time’ which is about 4 to 10 mins. Interestingly this 4 to 10 minute time is also the ‘average duration of sex’ in most couples.

So, technically, how long should sex last? about 4 to 10 mins post penetration. However, in delayed ejaculation, the sex lasts really long. Men who fail to ejaculate, keep thrusting their partners from anywhere between 30 to 60 minutes, but do not ejaculate.

Thus these men in principle do not achieve their orgasm. This causes tremendous sexual frustration, depression and distress to the male. But, when it comes to the female partner, the distress and stress results from the consequent infertility issues.

what to do if you cant ejaculate

Since men with delayed ejaculation suffer due to the inability to deposit sperm in the vagina, infertility results, thereby affecting the relationships.

Not just that, female partners of men who cant ejaculate also suffer from poor self esteem issues, disturbed body image problems and a range of other psychological problems. They think that, they are probably not ‘attractive’ and thereby their unable to make their partner come.

The problem of delayed ejaculation is seen in about 4 to 8% of men presenting to male fertility clinic with sexual health issues.

Now, here comes the icing on the cake. A large proportion of men with DE, seem to suffer from DE due masturbatory behavior.  Men who engage in masturbation are frequently ‘auto-sexual’ or more specifically auto-sexually oriented.

Can masturbation cause delayed ejaculation? Hell yeah it can. For these men, unfortunately, are compelled to take their hand and stimulate their organ. The thrusting force generated from their hand actually offers much greater gratification than the ‘vagina’s’ (of their partners)

what to do if you cant ejaculate
what to do if you cant ejaculate

Moreover, men with delayed ejaculation also suffer from an idiosyncratic masturbation style called as ‘prone masturbation‘.

Individual’s who engage in prone masturbatory practice frequently orgasm or achieve ejaculation by rubbing their organ on the bed or on the floor. The rubbing of course helps the individual get a tremendous high triggering an ejaculatory response.

Other yet equally important causes of DE include

1. Major pelvic and abdominal surgeries

2. High Prolactin

3. Low Testosterone

4. Genito-urinary tract infections (from stds like chlamydia and gonorrhea et cetera)*

5. Mullerian cysts and prostatic utricles

*Whats interesting to note here is that, specifically with STD’s the patient will have burning sensation while ejaculation. Thus, the pain will eventually inhibit the ejaculation completely

what to do if you cant ejaculate
what to do if you cant ejaculate

What can you do immediately if you cant ejaculate?

The best thing you can do for yourself is to visit a sexologist near you

A thorough psychological and psycho-sexual evaluation is a definite must. Most importantly, a point of interest would be to get the individual evaluated on their sexual orientation.

Many men suffer from conflicts regarding their sexual orientations. In men with DE, the said patient may be in a heterosexual relationship but would rather prefer to be homosexual. This conflict in the psyche can in itself cause and inhibition of the ejaculation (or ejaculatory response).

Next, a thorough evaluation of the male sex hormones is also definitely required.

Ultimately, treatment depends on the cause.

If the issues are psychological. Treatment options include

1. Cognitive behavioral therapy or

2. REBT therapy combined with psychosexual therapy

If the issues are organic (a bodily physiological problem)

Hormonal therapy can be done.

For example for men with elevated prolactin, medications to reduce prolactin can be given. Similarly for men with hypogonadotrophic hypogonadism (where no sperm in the semen is seen) hormonal injections with testosterone replacement therapy is recommended.

Fundamentally the END-GOAL is to help the patient achieve a normal antegrade ejaculation.

Some medications which we have used in our practice include medications like

1. Tab Cabergoline 0.5 mg twice a week for 8 weeks

2. Midrodine Hydrochloride and Ephredine.

So, that about summates the post on ‘what to do if you cant ejaculate’. I hope you found this post interesting and useful. Do drop in your comments below.

I will see you in this space with more interesting content to read



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